Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize