hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
