I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
