Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
love makes seman taste better
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
