He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
