but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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