all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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