She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
