he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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