he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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