There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
