one might say we're banned from that church
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
