Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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