Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
birth control should be required to get into college
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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