i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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