South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
