it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
how do flat chested girls get laid?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i out mim tonsoeep
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