How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
