I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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