you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
