Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
