Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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