This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
