I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
