The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it glows. i had to have it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
