I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
