i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
