I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
