We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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