how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
