You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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