I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
