someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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