help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
