Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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