Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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