belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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