Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
