I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
