i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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