i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
