It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
