If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
