Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
