Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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