If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize