I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
