Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I understand Curling. That high.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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