if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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