I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
