Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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