he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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