i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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