dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
