Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
