I looked at my own cervix.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
