Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
