is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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