Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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