He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
