That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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