U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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