first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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