at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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