i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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