i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
